Patty's Column-June 2010
June 2010
Greetings Yogis...
We’ve all experienced it. You step into the elevator, or maybe sitting in a coffee shop or a restaurant, and overhear two people talking about someone else in a gossipy manner.
And if you are anything like me, you may let the gossip arouse your curiosity, and start straining to “hear more” of the conversation, even when what they are saying may be so hurtful or cruel that it makes you wince with disbelief.
Yet even when conscience tells us it’s wrong, we do nothing to stop it from going any further.
As much as it’s hard to admit, we all do it. And yes, sometimes some good harmless gossip can be like some good greasy food…cheap, easy and incredibly tempting.
Why is it so easy to get drawn in … and so difficult to resist, even when the gossip may be about someone we actually know and like?
Is the need to fit in, to be part of what seems like the “inner circle,” so appealing that we abandon all sense of personal values? Or are we simply afraid we will be the next target, if we don’t participate and just “mind our own business” when we hear it taking place?
I once heard said: “Ah, well, the truth is always one thing, but in a way it’s the other thing, the gossip, that counts. It shows where people's hearts lie." But when do we overdo it? How do we know when we’ve crossed the line from harmless chatter to damaging reputations or hurting someone.
Speaking and acting mindfully is not a simple task. But what if we took a step back and asked ourselves the following questions when tempted to participate in rumors or gossip?
1. Is it true?
2. Is it kind or harmless?
3. Is it necessary?
4. How would I feel if someone said something similar about me?
5. Does gossiping honor my own personal values?
Honestly, I can’t say I always act based on the answers to those questions, but breaking old habits is a process, and, like anything else, takes practice. When we begin to realize our speech can have tremendous consequences -- for either good or harm, to create war or peace, to make enemies or offer wisdom -- the choice becomes simple.
Thich Nhat Hanh said, “ Peace is every step.” Today I choose mindfullness through the words and speech I share with others.
Sharing Some Light,
Patty
